So Dexter Jean-Claude Macky is now 2 months old and he's the cutest thing ever, but of course I'm going to say that. He's also reading at a 5th grade level.
There was a moment over the past couple of weeks that I almost gave up the breast feeding. I've been one of those cases where it's been a struggle but everything's good now. It's funny but I guess I just assumed breast feeding would come super naturally to myself and the baby. Such is not the case, well, not my case. I had to deal with blisters, not on my feet from cheap flip flops, on my nipples. GROSS! It was the worst. Imagine someone having to suck as hard as they can on your foot blisters...every three hours. They're effing awful and I am so grateful for medicinal nipple creme. There's that crap they sell at Shopper's but I needed industrial strength. I also went back to see the lactation nazi's and was shown a better way to get him on the boob. So, now he's got a full access to the Breast-aurant. Not that it really matters, I mean it's 2010 and we have formula if the booby feeding isn't working so it's not the end of the world. However there's so much pressure to breast feed your baby you can't help but feel a bit guilty giving them formula. They make is seem like you're a terrible mother if you don't always give them the booby juice, it's really not fair. I mean, try your best but honestly, don't make me feel bad if I can't do it! This isn't the stone ages, we have alternatives. The point is, if you can't breast feed don't let those lactation nazi's get to you. Besides, once you breastfeed a few kids your boobs end up looking like two ziplock bags filled with rice pudding so you might as well do what you can to save them.
So having sex after having a baby is a bit different. It's not hotdog down a hallway different, just a bit tender but that goes away. Someone told me that it would be awful because I wouldn't feel a thing but that's totally not true. She must have had a huge vag to start with. I call her The Big V behind her back. Remember those drug stores? The Big V's? Do you think they realized how hilarious that looked? I hope it was on purpose and they were just being super funny.
Anyhow, I'm out with Dexter the other day, he's dressed all in blue and this guy asks me "Boy or Girl?"
I said, "Seriously? Uh, he's a boy. Want to see his massive dong?"
Just joking, I didn't say that, but I was a bit offended. I know I shouldn't be, he's only 2 months old and babies that are that young are kind of androgynous but the all blue should have been a dead giveaway shouldn't it? Am I missing something?
Anyhow, he's only waking up once in the night now and I'm the happiest person on the planet. I never thought I would be so excited about the prospect of 5 hours of sleep in a row. Before the baby I pretty much got 9 hours a night. I needed my beauty sleep. The life of a model requires it. Oh you didn't know? Ya, I had been modeling for a while before I got pregnant. There's a HUGE demand for 5 ft 3 inch 31 year olds now.
That's it for now. Here's hoping I've conquered the nip blisters. Think of me next time you're running and get a blister...then get someone to suck on it.
All the best.
Larissa Ann Primeau
