Seemed Like A Good Idea

Being hungover, with a 1 year old, might be the worst punishment for bad behavior....of all time. In fact, screw Guantanamo, get all the criminals drunk on champagne, then force them to care for a litter of cranky-ass toddlers. I don't think you'll see many repeat offenders.
Thankfully Will didn't come out Saturday night. It was just me and 6 other girls, drinking like we were 23 again and looking for tail like we're 32. It was a fun night at this restaurant at Yonge and St.Clair but let me tell you something, champagne, red wine, desert wine and fois gras do not make for a pleasant-following-morning. And fuck-you very much for the time change too, by the way. That really helps.
Here's the thing. Just because you have a baby asleep at home doesn't mean that you don't like to occasionally tie one on. Maybe your occasionally is once a month,like your period, or maybe it's once a week, like your masturbation routine, or maybe it's once a day, like a teenage boys masturbation schedule. Whatever your "tie-one-on" scenario may be, the hangover is extra painful when you're awoken at 7am by the needs of another human being. It's not like when you were without kids and you thought, "shit, I should really stop watching Miss.Congeniality for the millionth time on showcase Diva. I should really do my laundry." But your laundry isn't going to suffer if it doesn't get done. Your child, on the other hand, requires a lot more maintenance. You have no choice but to get your disgusting hung over ass off of the couch, put the jacket on the baby, strap him into the car, and get yourself to Swiss Chalet or some other greasy joint to cure your ails.
Speaking of which, don't ever get the chicken sandwich at Swiss Chalet. It was like swallowing luke warm chicken flavored sand. Disgusting.
If anything happens to your baby, while you're in this state, the guilt is doubly as bad. I'm not naming names, but a certain first husband of mine (we'll call him Sharon) was in the hungover state and the baby did a major bonker on his head. He was screaming and crying and Dexter wasn't in very good shape either. I mean, Dex does a thousand head bonks a week, the pains of learning to walk, but the fact that he did a mega one on Sharon's watch, while hungover, just makes you feel like a real skid. God, what happens when you have two kids? Maybe by then I'll have grown up enough to have some will power.
Maybe.