The Gong Show

Juliette is now 6 months and clearly life is more hectic with two kids and a business, than it was with Dex. This is my second blog in 6 months. The truth is, it's easier bringing home the second baby than it was bringing home the first because your freedom has already been stolen by number one so what the hell. What does, however, change is the amount of work. Like anything, the work load doubles. Two kids waking up and needing to be fed, two kids needing to be dressed - not to mention the breastfeeding of the baby and of Will. When Juliette was about a week old I had made her a bath in one of those plastic baby bath thingy's. I put it on the bathroom counter and brought her into her room to get her undressed. Dex was in the bathroom pooping. We only have one bathroom. Dex is calling for me but I'm ignoring him as this is something I tend to do a lot of now that I've brought another baby into the mix. Anyhow, I come into the bathroom and put the baby in her bath because she is screaming I'm assuming because she's cold, so I want to put her in the bath as quickly as possible. As I'm putting her in the tub, Dex has started to cry. He has his pants around his ankles and is pretty much incoherent. Through the noise of the double child cry, I see that he has missed the toilet and dropped a deuce in the middle of the bathroom floor. Oh Lord. I've got one hand on the baby in the tub, and the other reaching for something to pick up the turd. Dex is now reaching unbelievable decibels and so is the baby. As I'm picking up the floor turd (with my bare hands) and trying not to let two high pitched cries bother me, I'm going back to a time in my mind when I was quite glamorous. I'm remembering making out with a gorgeous young Spaniard on the banks of the Thames or the time I went to the opera in Vienna. These are real things that I actually did. But now I'm picking up floor turds. Don't get me wrong, Motherhood is rewarding, and sometimes that reward comes in the form of a big floor steamer.